Chicken Noodle Soup
by WonderZoneLust
Summary: Trying to calm himself from a nightmare, Splinter decides to make himself some tea until he sees his youngest son doing almost the same.


It was probably quarter to one in the morning when Splinter woke up from his latest nightmare. It had been roughly a few days since he was close to being murdered by the Shredder when his sons from the past and future (until now, he was rather confused and surprised despite Leonardo's explanation), and their human allies had stopped the Triceraton Army from invading their world. And although everything went back to normal (well, the only thing that changed was when his eldest kept on pestering him with questions like, "Sensei, are you okay?". But that became the least of his worries when Raphael decided to distract him before Leonardo could even ask), the fear of losing his sons still grew in his heart. He could remember the sinister voice coming from Oroku Saki when he ended his sons' life in just one blow, the puddle of blood mixed with tears seemed to have never stopped extending. He remembered holding his bleeding and dying sons as if letting them go would mean would losing his life as well. He remembered the voices; the sinister ones that told him that he had failed. That his life was destined to be tragic.

It pained him to the core and until that point, he could not shake off that fear.

It was quarter to one and he felt a little thirsty.

 _A little tea cannot hurt,_ he mustered to himself as he made his way to the kitchen when he saw a certain son of his humming a song while stirring something with a laddle.

"Michelangelo?"

Said turtle had squeaked and jumped before turning around to see who called him. Somehow, Splinter sensed a sort of fear in Mikey's aura. However, he could not detect what was causing it. He made a mental note to inquire him about it later when they both feel, at least, a bit relaxed.

"U-Uh...it's not what it looks like! U-um..."He watched him as he tried to find an answer before finally giving in. "I'm sorry, Sensei. I know you usually don't approve us, even Donnie, staying up but it's for a very good reason this time! I promise!"

He rose an eyebrow. "And what could it be, my son?"

Mikey looked down and mumbled, "Please don't laugh at me for this."

"And why will I laugh about it? Do I ever laugh at how you feel?"

The turtle bit his lip. "I'm sorry for being insensitive."

Splinter sighed. "Now what are you doing at this time?"

"I had a nightmare. And...I really got scared. So I just...snuck into the kitchen and decided to make some...chicken noodle soup."

Now that he mentioned it, Splinter hadn't realized the smell surrounding the room until his youngest son has said so.

He smiled. "It smells delicious, my son. May I eat with you?" And Splinter swore that that smile was more than enough for people to say that the sun suddenly came out at one in the morning.

"S-Sure, Sensei. Just let me add the spices and prepare your tea."

"Of course,"And he sat down, watching his youngest son add the spices before mixing the substance. Splinter knew that the silence would not fit for an atmosphere where Mikey is present. So he cleared his throat and asked, "How was patrol?"

Splinter swore that he saw Mikey pause for a bit before he resumed to mixing the soup. "It was kinda boring, I guess? There were some thugs that we defeated but other than that, nothing. Even I was too tired to prank someone." He placed the ladle on the side and started filling up the kettle with water.

"What kind of thugs? What did they do?"He set the cane to the side. Mikey turned on the stove and placed the kettle on it. "Hmmm...they stole some stuff. Nothing else. It was really boring, Sensei."

"There is no such thing as boring, my son. There will always be something exciting in every second. You just have to find it."

"Hmmm,"He turned off the other stove and stirred the soup. "I did see these dudes though. It was kinda interesting to watch them,"Mikey tiptoed to reach the cabinet doors, which were above him, and opened them before getting two bowls. "This one guy was freaking out over his spilled soup and started to cry. Then his best friend slapped him and said, 'It's not the end of the world! He will get well!'" He crouched down, opened another cabinet, and got two pairs of chopsticks. "From the whole thing I heard, I think Guy A is dating Guy C and Guy C must be sick or something." Using the ladle, he scooped up the soup and placed them in the bowls. He carried the two bowls and gave one to Splinter, who uttered a, "Thank you." while he placed the other on a spot opposite to where his father sat. Mikey grabbed the chopsticks and gave one pair to Splinter before finally sitting down. Before they could say the word, Mikey, being forgetful, stood up, turned off the stove, got the kettle and a teacup, poured the water in and prepared the tea before serving it to Splinter and finally sitting down on his place.

"Ittadakimasu."

After the first bite, Splinter smiled. "It tastes really excellent, my son."

The rat swore that he saw his son's body tensed up. "R-Really? Thank you, Sensei. It means a lot! Really!"

"Hmmm...now would you like to tell me about that nightmare you just had?"

Mikey bit his lip. "Well...it's not really the first time I had it. This one just bothered me so much ever since that happened."

"What happened then?"

"Well...some weird tiny aliens decided to invade my brain and then my brothers just went into my mind to get them out."

Now this made the rat interested. He already knew that Leonardo won't tell him everything but this? This was vital. Who knew what kind of damage they did to his son's brain?

That scared him even more.

But he had to keep his composure.

"And how is it connected to that dream of yours?"

"Well,"He put the chopsticks down, went to the refrigerator to get a pitcher of water, and got a glass from the rack. Mikey poured the water into the glass and sat down while drinking it. Once he drank everything, he set the glass down. "I remember seeing my brothers going into my subconscious and I was really afraid because Anger was literally the biggest out of the bunch. I thought that it might give them a clue about how I really feel. But I was actually relieved because none of them actually figured that out. They would've asked me though if Pain came out of the curtains and I do not like that happening."

"Why is that so?"

He fiddled with his chopsticks. "He might start talking about my insecurities and everything. The fact that I don't feel like I belong in the team or in this family because...I'm so useless. And I just know that everything in the end will be messed up because of me. Pain will literally cry in front of my brother and scream, 'Why do you like leaving me alone?' and...I don't want that, Sensei. I saw that happening in my team in my dream a while ago. Everyone was just dead and I was left all alone. Then Shredhead started spilling to my dying bros what my insecurities were one by one. And you know what Leo's last words were? It was, 'Mikey, why didn't you tell us anything?'. And now I'm so mad at myself and also guilty at the same time. Like...I want to say everything to my bros but I can't because despite all that, I still look up to them. I don't want them to feel bad about me. They're awesome and I love them and I don't want them to feel terrible. I mean, even saying this to you is already making me feel guilty because you're our dad and I love you so much but I just don't want you to feel bad about it and...I'm sorry,"

Splinter sighed. "You do not need to apologize, my son. I will admit. I have some kind of favoritism towards Leonardo. And I pay more attention to your brothers than you. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you, Michelangelo. I will always love you four."

It was his third biggest fear after all. The first was losing them. The second was them leaving him. And the third was at least one of his sons doubting their father's love. He had always been cautious in raising four children with equal love and care. But he expected that it won't be perfect.

He just never thought that it would go this far. And Splinter, of course, felt guilty about it.

"I know you love us so much and I really am thankful for all you did in raising us four but..."

"But?"

"I just...don't know how to explain this. I just feel so...out of place. Like I don't belong in this family. And I'll never ever be good enough here. I mean, Donnie's right. I'm stupid and I don't matter. I'm a screw up. I get it. I just don't want people rubbing it in my faces because I've already been told that time and time again. For some person who's dumb, I actually get it."

Splinter fell silent. Mikey put the chopsticks down. "I just want someone who can understand me. Leo won't get it. And neither will Raph and Donnie. And I'm not even sure if you understand."

"Of course I can. You are my son, are you not?"

"Yeah,"Mikey looked to the side. "I guess I can't argue with that."

"Michelangelo, look at me."His son hestitated at first but followed his commands. Splinter's expression softened.

"No matter what anyone in this world says, I want you to remember that you are loved. Even if we always act cold, we will always love and protect you, especially me. _I_ love you so much, my son. You may not focus all the time and sometimes slack off. But you have a good heart. You are the kindest among your brothers. You have raw potential and are stronger than your three brothers combined. You may not be the perfect student but in my heart, you are the perfect son. And I cannot bear to lose any of my sons, especially you. That, I am sure of."

Mikey nodded, still a bit unsure on his response to that. Splinter let out a, "Hmmm" before continuing.

"You know, even I feel out of place in my own family."

Now that made Mikey curious. "Really?"

"I've always felt like that whenever I'm with my family back in Japan. Even Saki, my own former brother, can easily get along with them. I, however, could not. I was always the black sheep because I was different. I was not one to make friends. I was alone. I would always shut myself out. I would read books in family gatherings instead of talking to my relatives. If I did talk to them, I would just say a simple 'Konnichiwa' then leave to read another book. The only person I've actually talked to besides my family and teachers before was Saki."

"It's like the Shredder was your only friend."

The mention of "Shredder" made Splinter flinch. Mikey immediately regretted saying that.

"I-I mean Saki! I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean it-"

"It is okay, my son. You are used to addressing him as the Shredder. I respect that."

Mikey sighed in relief. Splinter continued.

"And then I met Tang Shen."

"What did it feel like when you met her?"

Splinter smiled. "Everything was beautiful when she was there with me. And for the first time...I didn't feel like I was alone. I actually had somebody with me."

His smile suddenly disappeared. "And losing her was like taking away that wonderful dream. But then I found you four."He smiled again. "And suddenly, that world came back to me. It wasn't like before. But it still held that warmth I've always loved. If I lose you four...or at least any of you..."

"History would repeat itself, right?"

"Hmmm...something like that."

"Was that the dream you had, Sensei?"

Splinter nodded. The next thing Mikey did, however, was unpredictable, even for the rat.

He stood up and hugged him tight while smiling.

"You know, I read from a book that sometimes, all you need is a hug."

The rat returned the hug. Mikey hummed a tune before adding, "And you know what else? Sometimes, you need to release your tears. It's unhealthy to keep them in, you know?"

"Then how come you do not do such?"

Mikey smiled, a tear escaping from his eye. "I always cry in my room, sensei. I always cry about how left out I am in everything. How terrible and insecure I am of myself. How I just... _hate_ myself to the point of wanting death. But you're here. So I guess that doesn't make us alone, right?"

And Splinter cried. Sixteen years of keeping all the pain to himself and all it took to for him to release those tears was the care from someome he never expected. As his father cried, Mikey hummed a slow, relaxing tune, remembering a certain memory that would still linger in his mind up to that day.

 _"You should go home, little one."_

 _A seven-year old Mikey looked at a dark figure, his arms hugging his legs and his eyes full of tears. On his cheeks were a few scratches and bruises. He didn't even care if the person he was talking to was a human. He just wanted to be away from them._

 _"A-And why would I?"_

 _The small human smiled. "You have a family waiting for you."_

 _Mikey sniffed. "You wouldn't know that."_

 _The small human crouched down and rubbed his head. "I do know that. And I regret running away from them now. Now go home, little one. Please do not find yourself regretting your choice in the end."_

 _"But they don't understand me! I'm just dum dum Mikey!"_

 _And the shadow finally got close enough for Mikey to look at._

 _He was a boy with black hair that reminded him of the coals shown on television and blue eyes that brought him to the skies. The boy spoke with a sweet British accent that reminded him of honey and sweets. He had freckles just like him but wore tattered clothes and had dirt and bruises all over his body. Mikey even thought he hadn't eaten in days._

 _"Then why don't you let me understand?"_

When Mikey finally let go of Splinter, footsteps approached them.

"Mikey,"

Both father and son turned to see Leo, Raph, and Donnie with serious faces yet worried eyes. Leo bit his lip, Raph looked down, and Donnie gripped what it appeared to be a letter.

"Yes, dudes?"

Splinter tilted his head. "What are you all doing this early in the morning?"

Donnie coughed. "Someone gave to me this letter and...we've actually been awake since an hour ago talking about it."

Raph's eyes focused on Mikey. "Mikey, can we talk? Brother to brother, all of us... please?"

Mikey soon realized that their expressions had started to change. Leo looked like he killed a person and regretted it, Raph was on the verge of tears, and Donnie was just simply depressed and worried.

"S-Sure, bros."He then turned to Splinter and gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry, sensei. This turtle's being summoned."

Splinter chuckled. "Do not apologize, my son. Go ahead. I will clean the dishes for you."

And as Mikey left with his brothers (who were actually going to interrogate their little brother about his problems and insecurities), Splinter looked at the ceiling while wiping his tears.

"I did it, Tang Shen. I raised our boys well."


End file.
